Actually, don’t mention those things around my mother.

Oh! I did walk on volcanic rock barefoot, once. Once.

↓ Transcript
It’s important to stay near water. We dry out very easily. Fresh or salt doesn’t matter, since we don’t use gills. Sea water is more buoyant, though. Remember to come up for air until you get the hang of using magic. And always keep in mind that as soon as you’re in deep water, or even over it in a boat or plane, you won’t be able to resist changing forms. You’ll eventually learn how to maintain your human shape, but it’s exhausting.

And I found out the hard way why we never wear knickers under our skirts.

Tail wedgie. Yikes.

What about shoes. Though?

Personally, only for fashion, and never near the beach. We don’t need them. We can dive deeper than most humans and we heal instantly. Not even volcanic rock will cut our feet. I do dislike hot pavement, but it still can’t hurt me. But the real reason is that when people see a pair of shoes left out near open water, some panic and assume there’s been a suicide. The resultant search makes things . . . complicated.

And nobody likes losing a nice pair of shoes.

What about those cheap little rubber clogs?

We don’t speak of those.

Seriously, don’t mention rubber clogs around a mermaid.