Samantha Hooper is from Scandal Sheet by Troy R. Smith; used with permission.  http://scandalsheet.comicgenesis.com/

↓ Transcript
Ace:
...and so Mrs. Cartman remembered me from me that conference.Even though I was only 8 years old or maybe because I was.

Samantha Hooper:
I hear you were seen with her granddaughter the next day.

Ace:
Uh, yeah. Mrs. Cartman seems to think I'd be a good match for her.

Sam:
And?

Ace:
Well, she's a nice girl and all. And pretty. And we do like some of the same things. But it's a little early to say anything’s going on.

Sam;
Actually the real problem is that some scandal sheet called “The Weekly Comet” has been running articles with my pictures calling me a “Mystery Gigolo” on account of my being around them. I'd like to have a word with whoever wrote those articles.

Sam:
Well…

That would be me.